Money and Manners

Chapter 7 - Money and Manners

Giles stepped up to the lectern and rang the large bell he had placed there. When the shop was silent, he said, "Good evening. I will be the auctioneer tonight. There has been one slight change: the correct account number is 4802-55691-1, @ www.banquedesuzern.com; code word `taowu.'"

Filis and Spike handed out the cards with the corrected account number and returned to the upper lever.

"Agnes Polias, of Polias and Coronis, is managing the escrow account and she will inform us when the winning bid has been received and only then will the buyer take possession of the item."

There were quiet murmurs from the crowd at the mention of the law firm.

Giles continued: "The item is, of course, a peach from the orchard of Xiwangmu, and the opening bid, after inspection of the offering, will be $10,000,000. The minimum increase is also $10,000,000."

Gang Long ported into the shop and, suspended in mid air in dragon form, displayed the peach.

Some of the buyers looked at the peach through glasses, others just gave it a quick glance and nodded. Some, like Filis, closed one eye to look at it. Giles waited a very brief moment--after all, these people knew what they were trying to buy--then continued:

"Who will start?"

Number 14 waved his finger.

"I have ten million."

Buyers 23, followed immediately by 39, signaled bids

"Thirty million."

Filis, Thierry, Willow and Tara stood off to one side of Giles on the upper level. They were watching the buyers.

"There," Filis said. "Second row, third from left."

"Got him," Willow said.

The man caught his breath and glared up at the Witches and the Alves.

Giles banged the large bell and glared back. "None of that." He paused a moment, then said, "We are at $110,000,000. Any advance on $110,000,000?"

"What was he doing?" Thierry asked.

"Don't really know, but it was aimed at the woman ahead and to his right."

"Two hundred million."

"Ow! I object. Your Witches are harassing me!" Buyer 11 jumped up and said.

"You asked for it," Buyer 3 said.

"Quiet," Buyer 34 said.

"Now," Buyer 24 agreed.

"The Witches are keeping order. We will proceed more smoothly if these petty attacks on each other cease," Giles frowned down at Buyer 11, who sat down and sulked. "We are at $440,000,000. Have I a bid?"

Buyer 34 wiggled one finger.

"Four hundred fifty million dollars."

***

The crystal sphere binged. Giles picked it up and Nancy Polias's voice gave the code word.

"Thank you," Giles said. He turned to Lilah: "Miss Morgan, the peach is yours."

Lilah smiled at him, walked over to Gang Long, who extended the peach to her. As she touched it, the long, the peach and the lawyer disappeared from the shop.

There was a draconian giggle, abruptly cut off, and then there was a complete silence.

Giles broke it. "Ladies and gentlemen, that concludes our auction. Please use either exit and good evening to you all."

Spike opened the front door, while Thierry opened the back. They rejoined the others.

The silence grew tense, then Kallis laughed shortly and rose. He glanced over at Willow, Tara, Thierry and Filis, then surveyed Spike and Giles. He nodded once, then went out.

"What did that mean?" Spike asked Giles.

"I have no idea and I dare say this naked, defenseless feeling, as if we were suddenly and mistakenly featured on America's Most Wanted, will pass in time."

Slowly, the remaining thirty-eight buyers departed.

Giles looked over the mess of chairs, shrugged and said, "We'll deal with this in the morning."

Gang Long ported into the shop. "That woman gives me the chills," he said. "And she didn't have any sense of humor."

"Well, Wolfram and Hart, I mean, evil and everything," Tara said. "Too bad they bought it."

"It could have been worse," Willow said. "We might have had to sell it to Bill Gates."

"Where did you take her?" Giles asked.

"Her office, actually just outside their building. I don't want them to know we can get in."

"Good idea," said Spike. "What about her bodyguards and car?"

"I waited until she called them back to Los Angeles to let go."

"Good, very good, in fact," Giles said. "They looked more like thugs than magicians, but I still don't want them annoyed with us."

"Right. Now," Spike said. "Let's get rid of Barzilai." He and Thierry went down to the basement, where Barzilai still slept. Thierry took the head and Spike carried the feet.

Up in the shop, they sat Barzilai more or less upright in a chair. Willow held one of Claire's smelling salt bottles under his nose. He snapped into full consciousness."

"Release me!"

"Oh, we will. But I'm sure you want to know how to get your money."

"What?"

"The auction's over," Spike said. "The peach is with its new owner, and all that's left to do is to tell you how to get your money and to throw you out of here."

Barzilai looked around at the empty shop. "Hell take all meddling mortals! Where's my money! Do you know how long it took to arrange all the accounts and choreograph the transactions! The winning bid should have hit the first account, then immediately start a cascade of transactions into ten different banks in ten different countries, and that was just the first movement.. No one could have traced that money! Now the peach is gone and all I've got is the base price!"

Tara removed the chains. Barzilai ostentatiously rubbed his wrists, then felt his chest. He glanced down, and noticed his bare hands. "You've robbed me!"

"Oh, be quiet," Willow said, waving one hand at him. "We've made you an honest thief, that's all. Now we want you to go away. You can have everything back but the slow-down charm. I don't think you can be trusted with that, you're inclined to misuse things. Tara, the box."

Tara handed him the box with his rings and other charms inside.

"This will open in three days. Be elsewhere when that happens," Willow said.

Barzilai gestured widely.

Willow relented and waved her hand at him again.

"Softy," Spike murmured.

"And my money?"

Giles smiled as he handed Barzilai Nancy's card.

Barzilai read:

"How do you know them?" Barzilai asked suspiciously, frowning at Giles.

"They are our lawyers," Tara said.

"Oh, hell," he said, deflating slightly.

"Ms. Polias is the stake holder. She expects you in her office tomorrow to arrange to transfer your money from the escrow account."

"So who bought it?"

"Lilah Morgan, representing Wolfram and Hart."

"How much?"

"Seven hundred eighty million dollars."

"That's all? Oh, well. Next season, I won't try using humans, I'll handle the sale myself." Without any further farewell, Barzilai left.

Gang Long frowned.

Giles locked the door after the soi-disant sorcerer. "You were going to say something?" he asked Gang Long.

"Well, I was going to tell him that the guards at the orchard know who he is, but I decided to let him discover that for himself."

"Yes," Willow said. "No thanks, no apology, no good luck? The man's a no class slob. If you still have relatives there, Gang Long, I hope they eat him."

"They probably will. Let's go home," the dragon said. "Let's have a party. We'll swim."

"It's safe to eat and drink. We can have tea," Giles said.

"We can play poker," Spike said.

"And we won't be interrupted--"

"--by slimeball thieves," Tara finished Willow's thought.

"And we can relax a little," Thierry told Filis.

"I'll move us," Gang Long said.

"Let me get the lights," Giles said.

"And the back door," Spike said, going.

"Ready?" Gang Long asked, and the dark interior of the Magic Box faded out and the torch-lit north terrace at Ann's house grew solid around them.

Spike looked around: Harris was fussing with a charcoal fire in a small grill and listening to Anya talk to Beroule. Gaufré was just coming out of the kitchen door with a sandwich and a drink. Dawn was splashing in the pool with the cubs; Gang Long shifted to dragon and joined them. Willow and Tara headed for the downstairs bathroom, where the spare suits were kept. Giles went and sat down with Beroule and Anya, apparently telling them how the evening had gone. Filis and Thierry separated and started to walk around the grounds, just checking. Either upstairs or at the Rosenberg home, Siride and Lian were probably sleeping, ready to go on early shift. People he loved, people he could work with. Not the life he'd hoped to have before he became a vampire, but far better than what he'd been able to imagine almost any time after that.

He headed off to the kitchen, to put the kettle on.

The next day. (Epilogue)

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